Black and White

I think a devil is living inside my body. like those that controls what you do and put negative thoughts into your brain. and it sucks.

Sabbaticals did not start off so well, but on the Fourth day, which happens to be today, it has improved tremendously! British Comedy turned out to be quite a comedy, but I still want to be in Circus, it's so fun! I went to visit the Circus kids today and tried to spin a plate or disk or whatever it is. The p.m. session is not entertaining at all. it's like having PCCG for 3 hours. But at least I made some new friends. I think I should enjoy my last day tomorrow, because holiday will be time for insane mugging. And just by thinking, my head is already starting to ache...

Some how I'm looking forward to Brass Explosion! It seems to be the only one thing now that makes me feel less bored. Because I don't know why, and I don't know since when, my life became a little black and white. I think I am not getting enough entertainment, and all those heart-to-heart talks with batch mates. They kept me thinking for quite a while. We are half way through Secondary three already, and we have to get ready for so many things. It's some kind of invisible stress, makes my head spin round and round.

if there's one thing I can learn, I would like to learn to appreciate, and cherish the things I have. Perhaps then, I won't be so bored, so sober, so sick and tired of everything anymore. And if there's one thing I can ask for, I would like someone to be my Universe. Because I'm tired of comforting everyone else, giving them support, when I have nothing secured by my side.

I think I am a conflicted kid. 

Maybe I should call myself from two years ago and ask her where she placed the innocence and happiness that I can't find anymore. 

Calm

I wish to stay calm.

only if wishing could help.

the other side of the coin

BLOCK TEST is OVER! Although it's been a few weeks already, I'm still elated to share the good news:)

I passed my NAPFA 2.4km :) although I did badly for standing board jump as usual hee but I'm still glad about my 2.4km, makes me feel all healthy and fit! 

Sadly, SIAs are flooding in right after exam! It's like we put a stopper to temporarily stop all the SIAs from coming in, and when exams ended, the stopped just shot out and everything just start flowing out like a stream! And I'm just going to hate myself for procrastinating so much again :< 

Concert is in less than 2 weeks time, I'm nervous yes, very nervous. 

Just like every character in Julius Caesar, everyone is like a coin, with two different sides. Maybe I just didn't notice the other side of you...

a little taste of love

I have been caught in the middle of love recently, not that kind of love you are thinking about, but love as in happiness, joy, care and fun. And I'm very grateful for this little taste of love with certain lovely people who manage to bring casual fun into my life. Thank you :)

Bio Block test was a screwed up mess! I have 0 confidence when I passed that exam script to the teacher and there was still some doubts in my mind. I don't know why it was so hard when I studied so hard for it ): but that's out of the point, because it's over and there's nothing I can do about it. What I should be worried about is IM2 and Chemistry. Which I am less worried about, but some maths teacher announced that IM2 is going to be a BOOM hard... So practice, practice and more practice.

Chemistry with Ms Soon's help is kind of fun :) And yes it's fun with her around, I really don't want her to leave :( how ironic, the whole class was totally complaining about her when she first taught us, and now with Ms Cheng around, Ms Soon seems like the heavenly teacher that we were blessed with, she's really helpful! I just wished that I could have appreciated her when she was teaching us... hmm but regret is sort of a human nature. I guess all I can be thankful for now, is that she is still sitting in the class somewhere where we can ask her the questions and get a wonderful answer with no more question marks in our head.

Enjoying band, main band is fun, just never fails to cheer me up :) hmm but the frustration of not being able to play up to a certain standard is coming back to me ): That high G! I just can't pitch it nicely. Even if I do, it will be all squeezed out and a disgusting sound. I've got to work harder, and I'm trying hard.

NAPFA is coming very soon... and I just died running 1.6km... I still suck ): I must go swim soon, it helps to train stamina I think... alright, all the best for Chem and IM2 all wonderful kids on this earth!

I despise you for making friends for the benefits of it. it's pretty disgusting.  

Procrastinator

I'm pretty exhausted and I don't know why...

perhaps it's because of the workload which is NOT exactly heavy.

I'm such a procrastinator, and sometimes I really want to kill myself for that simple reason.

Just too exhausted...Everyday, I aim to sleep early, and rest well, but never did I achieve that. So how else am I suppose to achieve any other thing?

I don't know when I'll finally learn... perhaps when I get back the piece of dreadful paper...

I'm procrastinating again.... right now ):

Mental Stress

I really shouldn't be here, but anyway I am.

Haven't got time to blog about OBS :) but it was an amazing experience, although amazing is not equivalent to smooth flowing or comfortable. It was generally kind of bad for me since the first day... but I actually took away quite a lot of learning points, and tan line yes, which I doubt is going to go away until for a long time.

It's the start of term 2 already, and still not feeling any sense of belonging. But that's out of my concern for now, because block test is next week! And Japanese has to budge in and join the block test party >: I swear it's insane! And it's going to be a long-run torture. I rather we just die at one shot seriously! Why drag the test and make our lives miserable?

Feeling overwhelmed by different emotions and things. Luckily I still got something nice I can rely on! It's not good to get addicted, but it's nice to have something you can look forward to :) Oh yes, and I finally passed my first Chemistry Quiz and it wasn't bad :) I think it's time to start working hard and stop slacking. I just slack too much! I have no time to worry about other things, I have to keep going, until block test is over...

I miss OBS.

Living in the jungle, sleeping in tents, enjoying the night view with some irritating mosquitoes, a simple lifestyle that is trouble-free... I want to experience that again...

Nevertheless, good luck everyone for Block Test!

GAH

typed an entire passage filled with mean stuff.

but I deleted them after calming down.

maybe you should learn to do that too?

because you really ruined my day.